I’ve been out of the cult for a total of twenty-four combined years. I left the second time in 2005, so one might think, “it’s been fifteen years since leaving again, lighten up.” I wish I could but something always triggers the panic. Then I realized, that for me, my inner tumult was being stirred by social media.
I have faith that this too shall pass…eventually. And when it does people will remember the kindness, the long-distance smiles, and the clean hand waves.
I know. It’s Valentines Day weekend. The sex should be amazing, that is if you’re having any, but what if you’re not? What if you see something that triggers some awful memories?
Being back in New Hampshire has been a mixed bag emotionally. I love the mountains, lakes, the small—but very significant—11 miles of Atlantic Ocean coastline, the fattening comfort food (we won’t talk about the weight I’ve gained being back in my home state), and goddamn do I love all the friggin’ trees—Autumn foliage or not. What I don’t like are… Read More
You are always welcome to live out your heavy doubts and fleeting guilty pleasures in my dreams, anytime.
I’m tired of feeling like I have to fit in somewhere. I’m exhausted by these underhanded expectations, wedging me into some gross, cookie-cutter, societal niche; tired of not giving myself permission to be the beautifully dark soul that I am. Ever since I was small, I was drawn to the melancholy, the misunderstood, the macabre, the pain. I wanted to… Read More